


I've Seen Your Frown and It's Like Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun

by sinkburrito



Series: Liontrust Week 2017 [4]
Category: Warcraft (2016), Warcraft - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Liontrust Week, M/M, Sadness, Unresolved Conflict, he ded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 04:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11350278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinkburrito/pseuds/sinkburrito
Summary: Khadgar remembers his lost love.





	I've Seen Your Frown and It's Like Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun

  
Khadgar watched Anduin Wrynn’s coronation with an ache in his heart. He remembered the last coronation he’d seen and was suddenly overcome with missing Varian. He’d lost so many people… to the Legion, to the Horde, to everything in between.

“Archmage!” Anduin called after the ceremony. Khadgar turned to see the prince- no, king bounding down the steps of the cathedral. “Leaving so soon?”

Khadgar smiled wryly at Anduin. “Lots of things to do now that Jaina has left,” he said.

“Right. Of course. It’s just- I was wondering, could you tell me about my namesake? I heard some from Father… but I knew you two were close,” Anduin said, fumbling over his words. He took a deep breath. “You’re the only one left who knew him and… and I wanted to know a bit more before it’s too late.”

_Before it’s too late_

Khadgar was plunged into memories of his late love, washing over him like a tidal wave. Light, it had been so long. He still missed him so much.

“Khadgar?” Anduin asked. Khadgar realized he hadn’t responded.

“Yes, of course. I… Let’s take a walk,” Khadgar replied, discreetly steadying himself on a nearby tree. If Anduin noticed, he said nothing.

“We met during the First War…”

_Lord Lothar’s eyes stared him down and it felt like even if his hands were not holding him down he still would not be able to move._

_“What are you doing in my city, spellchucker?”_

“We defeated Medivh together.”

_Anduin dropped to the floor._

_“Is it over?” Khadgar asked hoarsely. Anduin could barely nod. Khadgar felt the exhaustion hit him, too, and found himself sinking into the warrior’s embrace. There was something between them there, but it could wait. Too much had happened today._

“Then-”

“There was something else, wasn’t there? You’re hiding something,” Anduin interjected.

“We… we fell in love,” Khadgar admitted. It wasn’t something he liked to talk about; the memories hurt.

Anduin stayed quiet. “But he died.” Khadgar added, “So that- that was that.”

“How did he die?” Anduin asked quietly.

“He was killed by Orgrim Doomhammer.”

_“You missed our date. Again,” Khadgar said, crossing his arms. Anduin stood in the doorway, face downcast._

_“I know. But I do have the war effort to manage,” he replied._

_“Can’t you just make a little time for your husband?” Khadgar asked, a pleading note in his voice._

_“Love, you know I wish I could,” Anduin replied, wrapping his arms around Khadgar. Khadgar brushed him off._

_“You do this every time! Every time I make plans, and I know- I know that we’re in the middle of a war. I just- I wish you had time for me,” he cried, wiping his eyes and hating himself for it._

_“I feel so stupid for asking you for more time, I just can’t shake the feeling you don’t care for me anymore,” he admitted to his feet._

_“Of course I do! I promise, I’ll make it next time,” Anduin promised._

_He didn’t._

_Anduin shifted his feet nervously. Khadgar bit his lip and looked to the side. Anduin sighed and mounted his horse. The horse started to move._

_“I-!” Khadgar called out, then stopped himself. Anduin’s horse stopped and he looked back beseechingly._

_“Come home safe,” Khadgar told him, voice breaking._

_“I love you!” Anduin called. A tear fell down Khadgar’s cheek. He clenched his jaw and turned away._

_Anduin’s face fell and he turned and urged his horse forward. Khadgar hated himself for being the cause of that face. He whirled around, ready to call to Anduin, but he was gone already. Khadgar cursed himself, twisted his wedding ring around his finger, and hoped with every fiber of his being that Anduin came home safe._

“What made you fall in love with him?”

“It was a lot of things, but I suppose… I suppose it was how we found ourselves in each other and I always knew he loved me.”

_Khadgar tapped his fingers on the table impatiently. The house felt emptier without Anduin. Every day since he left, Khadgar regretted not telling him he loved him. A stupid argument could easily be forgotten, but Anduin deserved to hear he was loved._

_A sudden knocking at the door startled him. He rushed to the door and pulled it open._

_“Sir-” a young soldier started, but broke off when he saw Khadgar’s face._

_Khadgar stared in horror at the body bag his companion carried. The soldier gently handed the body to the shocked mage._

_“Lord Lothar fell during the battle. You have our condolences, sir.”_

_Khadgar did not move a muscle until the sun set and the stiff body in his arms weighed him down. He collapsed in the doorway and he pulled his husband out of the bag. A funeral would have to be arranged, he knew. But for now, he cried into the corpse of the man he loved. The man he still does love._

_“I love you,” he told the body. He received no response; a morbid parallel to the day he left._

_“Please wake up,” he pleaded, “I still have so many things to tell you. Like how I’m sorry for yelling, and how I know you have so many things to do and can’t always make time to relax. And that I was planning on giving you one of those gnomish bikes for your birthday, and that I love the smile you reserved just for me, that you are- were the best thing that ever happened to me. Light- I- I just wish I could tell you I love you. I love you so much. Light, please don’t be gone. I can’t- Please-”_

_He dissolved into hysterical sobbing, chest heaving. He cradled Anduin’s head to his chest and wept enough to fill the whole Swamp of Sorrows._

“Do you still think about him?”

_Khadgar twisted the wedding ring on his finger absentmindedly. The champion raised an eyebrow._

_“I did not realized you were married, Archmage,” she said._

_“Not anymore,” he replied, slipping the ring in his pocket._

“Every day.”

**Author's Note:**

> ya i have no fucken idea how his body was supposed to go back so i just had them give it to khadgar???? 
> 
> on a more serious note i am sad now
> 
> oh yeah and the title is from "Mardy Bum" by the Arctic Monkeys which kinda gave me the inspiration for this fic bc i thought, "how do i make this sadder?" and then i listened to the song and thought, "i'll make them get in an argument and kill him!!!" so thanks for that arctic monkeys
> 
> AND i just found it out doesnt save italics when i copy paste from google docs on my phone???? w h y


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